The culmination of this week was a symposium on Filipino Heroism, with particular focus on the youth and nation-building. The symposium was set on November 27, 2008, also commemorating the 76^th birthday of Ninoy Aquino. The invited speakers in the symposium were: actor Diether Ocampo who founded the Kabataang Inyong Dapat Suportahan (K.I.D.S.) Foundation, Rags2Riches co-founder Reese Fernandez, TV reporter Atom Araullo, and Elvin Uy, a DLSU alumni and recipient of the Benigno S. Aquino Jr. Award for Nationalism. Former president Cory Aquino and Mayor Alfredo Lim were also graced the symposium with their presence as guests of honor.

The talk was indeed open and honest; leading the opening prayer was Br. Armin, who expressed his opinion on Pres. Arroyo’s rule. According to Br. Armin, although changing our president is not a long-term solution to the problem of corruption in the country, it would still make a difference with regards to the dishonesty plaguing our government. The speakers invited were for a purpose – to share their ideas on leadership and heroism, especially in the youth, as young leaders engaged in their respective advocacies and causes. They talked about the hardships that they faced in promoting their causes, the difficulty in getting volunteers and in mobilizing people to act and help, and most importantly, the fruits of their labor. I remember quite well Reese’s story as co-founder of Rags2Riches. Of course, as a new organization, they faced difficulties in terms of their budget and the reach of their organization. But of course, opportunities opened to them as people realized the gravity of their advocacy, and now, they are successfully providing livelihood and income for families in Payatas, especially for the women. Reese also faced personal problems in promoting Rags2Riches; often, her age proved to be a hindrance with talking to investors and clients. According to Reese, there were some people who refused to take her and her advocacy seriously, because she was young and was often faced with the question, “What do you know about poverty and suffering?”

Former president Cory Aquino also attended the symposium as a guest of honor. Entering the Conservatory, the former president was noticeably thinner and fragile-looking; apparently, she had been undergoing cancer treatments. Her physical condition was in great contrast to the speech she gave – powerful and influential. Towards the end of the symposium, the former president gave a speech that was very moving. At a time when people are apathetic or indifferent, Cory’s speech was indeed enlightening. “Be not afraid to do something you believe in,” one of the memorable quotes from her speech. The former president openly expressed her faith in the youth. According to Cory, the youth’s a very important sector in society – now more than ever, and that if the youth unite towards a cause, great change will take place.

In the same way that Levinas, with his study of relational ethics, teaches us that we encounter traces of God in our interactions with people, the iamninoy campaign also reflects this principle. I believe that through celebrating the “Ninoy” in ourselves, we imbibe Ninoy’s sense of nationalism. I personally believe that the promotion of Ninoy’s ideals and sense of heroism is also a reflection of the face of the Other in relational ethics, particularly with regards to Levinas. The iamninoy campaign sparks a hope in us that is so tangible and apparent that the spark in others is also ignited.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights recognized the inherent rights of all human beings; regardless of economic status, sex, race, or any other variable, each individual is endowed with a right to life, a right from slavery, a right to liberty, and so many others. It is sad that when the Holocaust happened, this Declaration was yet to be made. In the film, The Pianist, the superiority complex of Nazi Germany was portrayed through their cruel acts mainly against the Jewish community in Europe. The Holocaust gave a completely new take on humanity – or inhumanity, that is. The Holocaust introduced a lot of questions to the minds of all: how can such evil and suffering be permitted to happen?

The question that is on my mind, however, is what meaning can we extract from this suffering?

Martin Buber, a philosopher of Jewish descent himself, narrowly escaped the Holocaust. Famous for his concepts such as the ‘I-It’ relationship and the ‘I-Thou’ or the Relationship of Dialogue, Buber talks about how human beings relate to the world and to others. Personally, I believe that the Holocaust disputes the very essence of Buber’s concept of ‘I-Thou’. The silence and lack of early response of the other countries in the world, such as the Soviet and United States, caused much damage to the Jews in Poland. Should the intervention of the other world powers happen earlier, a lot of Jews could have still been saved. The inaction of other countries who could have intervened earlier is a reflection that humanity’s dialogue with each other is of a weak kind. In the film, it was not until 1945 when the Soviet Army intervened with Nazi Germany affairs in Poland. This was when Wlady was found by Soviet soldiers in the ruins of Warsaw.

In the same page, we view each other in the ‘I-It’ mode. An ‘I-It’ relationship, a denial of a relationship that exists between an individual and another, is a hindrance in the achievement of an ‘I-Thou’ relationship. From what I’ve seen in the film, the Nazis and the Jews have an ‘I-It’ relationship. The Nazis dealt with the Jews like they were objects, performing such inhuman acts against them. The Nazis never dealt directly with the Jews, they dealt with their mental creation of who or what the Jews are to them – a race less superior than theirs, and sometimes, even treated their Jewish descent as a disease. Ultimately, using Buber’s claims, I believe that we all are suffering, because we have never really transcended past the ‘I-It’ relationships that we have, not to the extent of the Nazis, but in such a way that having the ‘I-It’ kind of relationship is so pedestrian that we can even liken it to everyday things such as eating or walking. Suffering, in this case, is part of what seems to be a process, from trying to transcend the ‘I-It’ relationship to achieving genuine dialogue or ‘It-Thou’.

In The Pianist, a lot of scenes portrayed Gabriel Marcel’s concept of the ‘secondary reflection’. Throughout the film, we experience the Holocaust together with Wlady – the friends he lost, his family which he came to lose in the end, and his life which he was able to regain after the Holocaust. As I’ve seen in the film, there were a lot of scenes where Wlady was silent and seemingly staring out into the open. I’ve interpreted scenes like this to be Wlady’s reflection on the events he was currently experiencing. He reflects on the events at the same time that the events are happening to him. Some scenes in the film also portrayed a primary reflection on Wlady’s part, when he is watching the suffering of the other Jews with him. In a way, Wlady acts as an observer to those scenes where his fellow Jews are shot in front him and the other Jews held captive. Although Wlady empathizes with his friends or the other Jews killed, there is a gap that exists between them – the focus on scenes such as those is that Wlady experiences the effects of that event, and not the event itself. Marcel’s view of suffering is so rooted in the individual; the meaning that a suffering person attaches to the suffering he is experiencing is totally his own.

Emmanuel Levinas talks of surprise and how the other always catches the self by surprise. The feeling of surprise in Levinas’ case is one that is associated with guilt and shame. The guilt and shame comes from the realization that one has done evil actions. An individual possesses freedom with the positive assumption that the person will make use of it responsibly. Failing to do so, such as being manipulative, tyrannical, or even inhumane, causes the feeling of guilt or shame, and the feeling of being caught identifies with the element of surprise. For example, in the film, a certain German soldier may feel guilt or shame after realizing that he has performed cruel acts against Jews. Specifically, this feeling of surprise, guilt and shame is portrayed when Wlady was caught hiding in the ruins of Warsaw by a high-ranking German official. The German official told Wlady to play the piano, and personally, it was in that scene that I saw the realization in the German official’s face, and ultimately, I believe that this is why he spared Wlady’s life and even help him survive (by bringing him food) until the Russians got to Warsaw.

The Holocaust is one of the world’s darkest events. In the end, sad as this may sound, I’ve come to accept that evil is a ‘necessary’ in this world. Duality exists everywhere, if there is freedom to do good, then ultimately, there is freedom to do evil. And with those evil actions comes another duality – whether to remain silent and indifferent, or to fight back and right what is wrong.

But something that Ms. Brenda said made me reassess myself.

Everyday, transgenders, homosexuals, women, even men – they’re fighting a fight that they’re not supposed to be fighting in the first place.

So someday, I will fight for them – for equality.

Great talk!

She arrived fashionably late

We had a great time (and we learned a lot too)!

Thanks for the pictures, Mara! <3

Is life worth living?

It’s not a question I usually ask my friends… or even myself. Sometimes I’m overcome with fear about this. What if the answer to this is “no”? Have I been able to do anything that makes my life worth living? Have I formed mutually life-altering relationships to justify my existence as a human? What if I’ve spent the last eighteen years of my life in vain? What should I even regard as proper considerations for being able to justify my being?

Some people search their whole lives for answers to the simple question above. Some even die not knowing the answer. It is hard, probing for answers to this eye-opening question. So many questions stemming from that simple query and not so many answers for them… This is what makes me dread the question.

Nevertheless, we all have to start somewhere, right? For this question, it’s probably now or never. Who knows when I’ll be asked to reflect on my existence again? As I’ve said earlier, some even die not knowing if their existence was one of worth. I would not want this to happen to me at all. In essence, it would be like asking myself if I should have even been born.

For this purpose, I thought I’d start somewhere by asking around, “What makes your life worth living?” My friends were my target for this particular question. Some jokingly answer, “My life’s worth living because it’s examined”, without even really knowing what Socrates meant by that statement. Most of my friends say that their life is worth living because of the relationships that they have formed: family, friends, even pets. Some answer with a more religious theme, that their life is worth living because they are God’s stewards in this world, or that simply the fact that they are creatures of God and that they were born into this world because of God’s plan, they say that is their reason for living. Some even find their life worthy because they dedicate them for others, feeding the hungry, comforting the sad, even small actions like sending blankets to typhoon victims.

All my friends had their answers to my question. Everybody knows why they want to live, however shallow their reason for it may be. It’s like, everybody has an idea as to why they’re alive. I don’t even have an inkling of an answer.

So I figured, maybe eliminating answers from my friends’ would be a good second step for me to take. First off, I’m not much of a religious person, in fact I’m quite religion-less right now. I like calling it “in between religions”. Simply put, I just haven’t found any use for religion in my life right now. So answers dealing with religion and God are far from me now. And as for relationships, I’ve learned long ago that relationships come and go, pause and then continue again, just fade into the background or cease to exist over time and distance… I’ve realized now that only one thing is certain: religion and relationships do not matter to me when talking about my life and if it is worth living. For religion, well, let’s just say I really don’t have much faith for things that my senses can’t govern. As for relationships, as I’ve implied, they’re very much uncertain… much more uncertain than the future, if I may dare say, and that is why I’ve learned not to consider my life’s worth through them. All relationships are made of two or more people: me and another. This very thing makes it so unstable for me. People, however predictable they are, are fickle-minded. Trust is not something that comes naturally to me, and because of this I can honestly say that relationships do not bear a great percent in the reason for my living. As for actions, well, yes I do agree that our actions can be a basis for us in determining if one’s life is worth living. Humans are social creatures, we thrive with interaction, and our actions towards others are solid enough to determine if one’s life is worth living.

So what really makes me want to stay alive and live in this world? Is it the good fortune that I’m lucky to have? Is it because of the possessions I’ve come to accumulate over the course of my existence? Let me tell you – personally, my existence is not defined by either fortune or wealth.

I have only two reasons as to why my life is worth living, and none of my friends even came close to my reasons. Two reasons – which I’m very sure of – that makes me want to wake up during the mornings, that makes me want to go to class, that makes me want to live. Firstly, my life is worth living because of the accomplishments I have. Second, I’m more than glad to be in this world right now, to live my life, because of who I will become.

Of my first reason, there is no doubt about it… I’ve accomplished a lot in my existence of eighteen years. When I talk about accomplishments, it’s not only those that come with trophies or medals. Accomplishments for me can also mean emotional or mental accomplishments, those that require more of my right brain and my heart than of the left side of my thinking cap. Of course, I’m very proud of myself when I make it to the Dean’s List here in college, or when my work is recognized, but more than these achievements that I’ve received through use of my left brain, I’m prouder of the accomplishments that my maturity and “wisdom” have provided for me. It is no joke getting over a beloved’s death, and I’ve come to survive two. Two deaths – of the two people who I consider my mothers. It’s is not the lost relationship that I mourned over, but rather, I mourned because they simply ceased to exist… In my life, in the lives of our other family members, in the lives of their friends… And when I was able to move on from these tragic happenings, I considered it an accomplishment. That I was able to accept what happened like a mature being, that I was able to grow and mature more after these two deaths of vital people in my life, makes me feel that I am stable, and this gives me pride. I was six, and then twelve, when these deaths happened to me. And I got through them – all by myself. Independence and the willingness to stand up and live once again after tragic events have taken over their lives is not something many people do nowadays. Giving up has been presented as one of the options, and so many people resort to that now. I’m just proud that I’m not one of those people, that I put up a fight and I won, and now I’m still standing, all five foot and four inches of me. And something as stable as this, as rooted in to my being as things can go, is something that no one can take away from me, even with time.

My second reason as to why my life is worth living is who I will become. I’m a very goal-oriented person, and in time, I will become a lawyer. You may ask why this is even a reason for me? Well, I believe that I, in the future, will be a great person. It is time that I contribute to the good in this world, and this is how I want to do it. Ultimately, this is what makes me take my education seriously, this is why I wake up early in the morning, this is why I read books, this is why I’m doing this journal entry right now – because I will become an individual who does good in the world. I don’t know about this, but I’m assuming, from my friends’ answers when I asked them what makes their worth living, that very few people think about the future when considering their lives and if it is worth living. I admit, with my two reasons, I’m lacking a reason that exists in the present tense. With my first reason, I’ve said that what makes my life worth living are the accomplishments I’ve had, which is really an element of the past, because as soon as I have achieved something, it becomes exactly that, something I achieved. As for my second reason, who I will become and why it makes my life worth living is clearly is a future thing. It is because of this that I come to the conclusion that in the present, there isn’t much to consider, because after just a few minutes (or even seconds) the present is already a thing of the past. For me, what is more important is hindsight and foresight, and it is with this justification that I feel confident about the reasons that I offered about my life and why it is worth living.

One may say that the future is uncertain. With this, how sure am I that my future self will contribute to the goodness in this world? How sure am I that I will indeed become a lawyer? You may say that this argument makes my second reason a trashy one – but in truth it makes no difference, and at best, it only makes my argument more solid. Even if I do not become a lawyer and do good in the world through upholding justice, then I will do it some other way. There are times when I like to believe the best in people, and it because of this that I believe in the principle of the innate goodness of man. Man is naturally good – only with selfish tendencies – and with this I conclude that no matter what profession I end up pursuing, may it be in law or in the corporate world or even the academe, I will contribute to the goodness in this world.

Ninoy Aquino once said that the Filipino people are worth dying for. And to this I reply, that although I haven’t found yet what I am to sacrifice my life for, I know why I am living my life: what I’ve done and what I am to do in this life – that makes my life worth living.